Last night before church Dillon was laying on the living room floor in a prop I made him out of blankets. He was sitting up a little with the blanket surrounding him completely to keep him in place. I walked into the living room, which was fairly dark, to get Dillon ready for church. I turned on the light and as soon as I did Dillon started moving his arms, legs, and head. Did he see the light? If so, why doesn't he always react to it? This leads me to wonder if I should have hope or not.
Pr 13:12 Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life
How do I know when my hope is going to make my heart sick and when to have hope because it will become a tree of life? It is something I decide or am I supposed to hope until God tells me otherwise? Is God telling me to stop hoping by my true belief that he is going to be blind? Or am I, as my husband says, just being pessimistic? Am I giving up on God and Dillon to say that I don't think he will ever see or am I just preparing myself in case that is reality?
If anyone has gone through a hard situation like this where you didn't know if you should have hope or not, please comment and tell me if you decided to keeping hoping or not and how it turned out. I know every situation is different and just because God answered you one way doesn't mean it will be the same for me - but I am just interested to see how God worked in other people's lives when they were at a point of not even knowing if they should have hope! If you do not want it posted but are willing to share your story with me my email is hediedforus1015@aol.com Thank you!
5 comments:
I think, as Christians, our hope ought to be in our Lord. I'm sure every Christian has been in a similar situation (though not to the magnitude of yours, in most cases) where it's hard to "know what to think." I know I've been there. "Should I set my mind on the fact that such and such is or isn't going to happen, or resign myself to just the opposite??"
The key is trust in the Lord. Now sorting that out into everyday actions and thoughts isn't as easy as typing it on a screen, right?! I think we need to present our problems to God with an open palm...saying "Lord whatever YOU do with this situation is fine with me. Whether you choose to give my son sight, or whether it's your perfect will that he be blind, I'm OK with either."
If our hearts are surrendered to the Lord and we're content with whatever He gives, I don't think there is anything wrong with making the "desires of our heart" known to God. He wants to hear from you, as long as we pray them in His Will.
Rather than focusing on whether or not he will see, try focusing on a promise from God that will be relevant to either situation. For example, the Lord will never leave or forsake you...whether Dillon will see or not, God will always be right there guiding you as parents on how to handle his situation best. It's easier (and more natural) for us as humans to focus on the tangible...whether or not Dillon is making progress or what the latest doctor has to say about his situation. But these things change so quickly. One minute Dillon seems to be making progress, and the next day a doctor gives a very discouraging report. It's hard work for us to train our minds to be focused on our Sovereign Lord who never changes and always wants what is best for us. This is the essence of II Cor. 10:5 "...bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ."
As for what to think on a daily basis...that's so hard. In situations like this, I would suggest that you try to focus on short-term goals to keep your mind off of the overwhelming, potential long-term problems. None of us know what the future holds, and especially in your cirumstances there are so many "what if's." I know that's easier said than done, but try not to think too far down the road. Remember the Word of God is a "lamp to our feet and a light to our path." That verse doesn't say that the Lord will give us a "spotlight" to show us clearly what the rest of our journey will look like, just a lamp to illuminate our next step. I think for good reason too! We can only handle what the Lord gives us today.
Savor today with your son...and this week. When the next appt. or test rolls around, then focus on it at that time. You have no idea HOW things will turn out. And in most cases, there isn't too much you can do about it (besides all of the therapy and early intervention steps that you are already wisely taking). Spend your days enjoying your son for who he is today! You won't regret it. And I know that you do this, so I want to encourage that. He's already 3 months old...look how much he's changed already! Don't let the "looming questions" shroud out the joy in today with your sweet, little boy! He's a precious gift and God gave you TODAY with him to enjoy!
And on a completely, unrelated topic, (since I'm already hogging up your comment space!) are you bringing Dillon to his first M&M activity, girl?? He may sleep through the whole thing, but the pumpkin patch makes for a great fall photo-op! Grandparents LOVE pictures of babies in pumpkins!! We, Mommies, need the activites as much as our kiddies do! :)
Dear Sweet Tiffany,
I would have to write to you, DON'T GIVE UP!!!
Oh precious mommy...you seem weary, I am praying for you and have been for a while now, even though I have not written lately...
Your precious GOD CREATED son is bringing glory to God in your reaction of HOPING and trusting in God for sight...for healing! I would encourage you to not stop hoping and give all your "cares to God...for HE CARES FOR YOU!!"
I know there are sooo many unknowns and it is overwhelming, I have been there and am there from time to time again...but each day is a NEW day, full of God's mercy and grace...His plans to be lived out.
Tiffany, as you well know, we were left with NO hope for the life of our son, Ezra. We did NOT trust in men, but IN GOD!! He is a rock, a firm foundation, build you HOPE ON NOTHING ELSE!!!
He alone has perfect plans for your sweet family...I KNOW it is super easy to say, but hard to live, I AM THERE WITH YOU!!! :) But HIS Word IS alive and the same today, yesterday and FOREVER!
Rest in His goodness and don't FEAR tomorrow, for tomorrow worries about itself!!! When we were dealing with the first few months, the verse that constantly raided my mind was 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline." A SOUND mind, one that is fixed on HIM, not life and all that we have in front of us!! Through HIM, we have POWER!!
I write these words to encourage you that we have seen God work in our lives, in our faith and hope in His overall plan...our son Ezra is here today because of God!!! NOTHING else!
Please write me anytime...my email is: borbebunch@yahoo.com
IN HIS LOVE,
Liz
Tiff, i got this as an email today and thought it was fitting....
This is almost overwhelming when you think about it.
You MUST read to the end:
Moses and the people were in the desert, but what was he going to do with them?
They had to be fed, and feeding 2 or 3 million people requires a lot of food.
According to the Quartermaster General in the Army, it is reported that Moses would have to have had 1500 tons of food each day. Do you know that to bring that much food each day, two freight trains, each at least a mile long, would be required!
Besides you must remember, they were out in the desert, so they would have to have firewood to use in cooking the food. This would take 4000 tons of wood and a few more freight trains, each a mile long, just for one day.
And just think, they were forty years in transit. And Oh yes! They would have to have water. If they only had enough to drink and wash a few dishes, it would take 11,000,000 gallons each day and a freight train with tank cars, 1800 miles long, just to bring water!
And then another thing! They had to get across the Red Seaat night. Now, if they went on a
narrow path, double file, the line would be 800 miles long and would require 35 days and nights to get through. So there had to be a space in the Red Sea, 3 miles wide so that they could walk 5000 abreast to get over in one Night.
But then, there is another problem, each time they camped at the end of the day, a campground two-thirds the size of the state of Rhode Island was required, or a total of 750 square miles long.... Think of it! This much space for camping.
Do you think Moses figured all this out before he left Egypt? I think not! You see, Moses believed in God. God took care of these things for him.
Now do you think God has any problem taking care of all your needs?
I asked the Lord to bless you as I prayed for you today. To guide you and protect you as you go along your way. .His love is always with you, His promises are true, and when we give Him all our cares, You know He will see us through.
Our God is an Awesome God!
So when the road you're traveling on seems difficult at best, just remember I'm praying and God will do the rest.
love you
We are praying for you. This is a verse that I have found helpful and comforting on the subject of hope:
Ps 42:11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.
I really like the entire Psalm 42 and have read it often. It's interesting to read the succession of David's thoughts as he is overwhelmed/disquieted in the beginning of the Psalm and then is calmed by God toward the end of the Psalm.
Elijah and I pray for you and Dillon several times a day...it's part of our routine! :)
Hi Tiffany,
I finally have a few minutes to sit and write.
There are some wonderful verses in Lamentations 3:21-24 "This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul: therefore will I hope in him." It is because we have a faithful God that we can hope.
Pick up little Precious and give him a hug for me.
Praying for you and love you.
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