Saturday, July 29, 2006

Anne

Instead of writing about how I became friends with Anne - I am just going to link to her blog where she wrote the whole book on it! From my perspective...: A Tribute To Friendship From my perspective...: A Tribute To Friendship Part 2 From my perspective...: A Tribute To Friendship Part 3

All I can say is that Anne is a true friend that I don't want to ever lose. There is a song I like and is very fitting. (song by Micheal W. Smith)

Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
I can't believe the hopes He's granted
Means a chapter of your life is through
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone'
Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

And with the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you live in
Is the strength that now you show
We'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends
To live as friends
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends
No a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

Anne is one of those friends that a lifetime is not too long, and the welcome will not end! She basically gave up 8 months of her life while my husband and I were engaged. She would come over to my apartment, go on day trips, go with me to his place, even took an over night trip to WV with us. All becuase she cared about us and wanted us to have a chaperone and since neither of our families live in the state we needed help. She came several times to the hospital to sit with me while my husband was at work. I really don't know what I would do without Anne as my friend.
Since she filled us all in on how we met, I thought I would add some of our memories!

Anne was the only person I know that heard my testimony of how I got saved and didn't believe I was really saved. For this I am not upset that she didn't believe me - I am grateful - eternally grateful. As far as I know she was the only one praying that I would get saved. And one night while sitting in church God opened my eyes and showed me that when I was seven I said the words but I only said it because my sister died and I wanted to see her again. So that night - October 15, 2003 I was saved. Before I went to bow down before God, Anne was out of the pew (I sat with her) and was at the alter praying, I later found out it was for me! Well Praise the Lord becuase I did get save that night!

As I said we sat together in church - well Anne likes flat shoes and I like heels. After the welcoming (shanking hands) I would always slip off my shoes. So I was next to Anne and about 3 inches taller then I was suddenly the same height. Somehow that usually made her laugh.

Everyone at church thought Anne and Rachel (I will tell more about Rachy in another post!) were calm, well somehow after I got there that all changed. Anne and I have had many water fights. Some in my apartment and some in her kitchen. I don't even know what starts them we just end up tickling each other and then dumping water on each other.

We (Anne, Rachel and I - but mostly Anne and I) have many memories annoying someone at our church over the computer by switching the person who was typing. I will leave it at that because only Anne and Rachel can appreciate the humor in that. Remember when Anne had jury duty? ;-)

We liked to get Rita's (Water ice and custard) after church, even when it was too cold to even sit outside to eat it. So after church we would get some and take it back to church to eat.

When Anne was helping me move from my little colege dorm to my apartment I assured her that we would only have one car load, becuase after all sshe had a HUGE station wagon (which I never minded riding in, but we have had many laughs over). However we ended up making 2 or 3 trips. I have NO idea how I fit all that into one little half of the dorm room.

A true friend will tell you when you are doing something wrong, even though they know you may get mad and end the friendship. Anne and I have always had the relationship where we can rebuke each other in love. We both know it is only a friendship if we help each other and are honest. I remember Anne helping many times, in particular when my older sister was getting married and I was upset becuase I was losing my sister and friend. (which by the way, we aren't as close as we used to be, but we are always sisters and always friends!) She told me buntly (as always!) that I needed to get over it. I don't remember everything but she has been a true friend.

Anne and I were cleaning at her house before her parents returned from a trip (which I totally owed her becuase she helped me clean my apartment many times!). Well we got very hot cleaning and since my apartment (which was a mother-in-law suite attached to a house of people in my church) has a swimming pool in their back yard - we decided to go swimming. Well the only problem with that was that the pool was heated only by the sun and well it was October! It was FREEZING! Anne ended up getting a cold from it.

The day we were going to WV Anne spent the night at my apartment, when we woke up we didn't feel like eating anything for breakfast except ice cream...so we did!

Anne got to the hospital the day Dillon was having the surgery for the G-Tube to sit with me and declared her car had a flat tire. We decided when Josiah got home from work we would ask him to change it. We started watching a movie (to distract me) and forgot all about it until Si got there. We took him out to the car and he asked "which tire is flat?" Anne pointed to the driver's front tire. "No it isn't." "Are you sure? It looks low." Well we took the car to a gas station and if you know anything about tire pressure you will know that 38 PSI is NOT low. the noise Anne heard the tire making was from the groves in the parking garage.

Another thing we have a good laugh about is the fact that somehow everytime my dad sees Anne (which isn't all that often since he is out of state) she is either eating or at lest has food in her hands. He thinks all she does is eat! He told her that when she gets married he is coming to the wedding (even if not invited - which she assured him he will be) and is going to hand her a bag lunch as she walks down the aisle. My mom told him he should just get her a chocolate rose to put in her flowers in case she gets hungry! She really doesn't eat that much, I know I eat a lot more than she does, she just seems to have bad timing where my dad is involved.

Well that's All I can write for now, I don't know if people reading these will find it funny or not, but I know Anne will. Thank you for your friendship.

Dillon's Situation (and some other stuff)

I was sitting on the porch holding Dillon and thinking about these things:

How would we know His strength - unless He shows us our weaknesses.
How would we know His love - unless He picked us up when we fall.
How would we know His peace - unless we have trials for Him to bring us through.
How would we know His perfection - unless He showed us our sins.
How would we know His power - unless we had something for Him to "fix".
How would we know His faithfulness - unless He carries us all the way through.
How would we know His forgiveness - unless we have a reason to ask for it.

God will show Himself true and faithful, can we say the same? God has entrusted a dear sweet little guy to my husband and I - will we be found true and faithful in raising our son for the Lord?

Okay, in case any one reads this and doesn't know about Dillon I will try to fill you in and keep it kinda short. My pregnancy with Dillon (although we didn't know he was a boy yet) was the textbook perfect pregnancy. I never had morning sickness, never had mood swings (well no more than normal! :-D ), I never had cravings, I only gained 25 pounds, I was active and loved being pregnant. My husband and I don't have insurance so we had to pay for everything out of pocket. We went to a midwife who many ladies in our church see. She was very nice and really cares about the babies. The cost for her was $2,300. The cost for the hospital (which was a nightmare in and of itself since people do not inform you of all the stipulations for the special midwife cost of $1,838). Okay, this is really hard because we have debt, but we knew God would provide. We did not have an ultrasound because everything was going great. I worked (at Sherwin-Williams) until 2pm June 16, 2006. At 3 pm my contractions started at 7 minutes apart. I was on the phone with my mom during them so I had someone to talk to. At 4:30 pm she told me to call my husband home from work because the contractions were about 4 minutes apart. By the time my husband got home around 5 they were 3 minutes apart. We waited a little bit to make sure they didn't slow down or stop or anything. We then called the midwife and she said to come to the hospital. We arrived there around 6pm with contractions about 2 minutes apart. I was 7 cm dilated - she broke my water. I was on the monitor for about 20 minutes and then she said I was 10cm. I went into the hot tub (where I was hoping to give birth). After an hour in there she told me to get out because it was time to start pushing but I kept slipping under the water. After about another hour Dillon was born. Josiah told me he was a boy while they had him laying on me. The midwife told him to cut the cord then yelled at him to hurry up. They immediately took him away - he wasn't breathing! I didn't see him again for an hour and a half. During this time I recovered enough that I felt perfectly fine - I would have never of known I just had a baby!! Josiah and I never left his bed side until they had him off the ventilator (which happened at 3 am) At 5am Josiah wanted to go lay down. I left to go sleep at 5:30am. At 6:30 they woke us up saying he had a seizure they were transferring him to St. Christopher's in Philly!!! We spent the next 36 days there as they ran EEGs, MRIs, CAT scan, spinal tapp, tons of blood work, put an IV directly into his chest, placed a G-tube in him (feeding tube because he can't swallow), did physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, etc. The answers we got are : 1. We have NO idea why he wasn't breathing - there was nothing to indicate any problems. 2. He may still develop CP or other muscle issues (tightness to the point of not moving). 3. He does have brain damage - mostly in the motor skills area 4. He may never be mentally above a 2 year old. 5. He may never be able to swallow and be on a feeding tube and suction machine for life. and lastly 6. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN IT IS ALL UP TO HIM. Well no doctors, that is where you are wrong - it is all up to God and for HIS answers on what is going to happen with Dillon - we wait. But God has already done so much with him. Dillon is breathing on his own (he was intubated 5 different times), he is at home, his seizures have stopped (he is on medication), he still doesn't cry but is making little noises occasionally, he scoots across the floor, he can lift his head and turn it, he is able to hit at my hand when I suction him (shows he doesn't like it and is able to move his hands to the source (motor skills)), he is starting to try to "stand" on my lap when I hold him. He is a blessing from God - a blessing that would like me to feed him now! :-D Hope that isn't too long that it is boring but that is the short version!

Friday, July 28, 2006

What goes up must come down

Well, I was at the top of the rollar coaster this morning and now i am near the bottom. I got lost trying to find the hospital where Dillon's check up was, when I finall found it it took a while to find where I was allowed to park. I went to get Dillon out and saw that his feeding tube had slid down so the gravity wasn't feeding him. I finall got everything loaded on me which includes a diaper bag, a sucition machine, an apena machine and Dillon in his carrier. I saw a girl I know who is going to school and has some classes there and she directed me to where I needed to go. I walked down the big hill (what goes down must also come up in this case which is what I was thinking as I walked down.) I fouond the department I was supposed to be at and waited to "register". My little boy's skin was red becuase he was so hot from the AC not working in the car, which worked before Walmart had it yesterday for an oil change. Fianlly I told them I was late becuase of getting lost can they make sure I would still be seen. They had someone come out becuase I was not on their list for appointments today. To make this even longer story somewhat short I was supposed to go to the hospital by the same name on the north end of the city (I didn't even know there were two hospitals!) But that hospital didn't have me on for today either...or ever! I know someone called me from there and set the appointment up but they hand write everything and don't use computers. So they are booked till Feb!!! Now I am waiting for the NICU to figure out with the nuerologist what is going on. Oh by the way I went back to Walmart they looked at the car and said they didn't do anything wrong but amazingly enough the AC worked when I got back in! Dillon's head had fallen forward on the car ride and was resting on his chest but I didnt know becuase I can't see him. I am praying he didn't hurt anything. I am pretty sure he didn't becuase he didn't make any noise or anything indicating that he was hurt. I am deffinatly at the bottom, I don't want to go out if this is what it is like!

July 28, 2006

Well Dillon came home on Saturday July 22, 2006! I couldn't be more happy. This week has been an interesting one. My parents came out to visit the night before we came home. They were such a blessing to me while they were here. My dad took care of warming Dillon's milk and getting the feeding tube ready for all of his meals and then cleaned it all after wards. He also cooked (or heated meals that were given) and did all the dishes. They bought Dillon music CDs to stimulate his mind a rattle for his little hand and many wipes and baby wash. They also bought Josiah and I ice cream from Rita's...twice! They wanted to do as much as they can while they were here since they had to leave so soon (they left today). My mom played with Dillon and stayed by his side during his tummy time to encourage him. Thank you for coming and for your love for the three of us!
Well Sunday was his first time in church. We went in late and left early so that he wasn't near a lot of people at once. We will continue this for at least another week or so. Sunday night during the time when a men's quartet from our church sang, Dillon made a little noise. It was the first time I have heard him make noise that wasn't apart of a cough. Then Monday was another big day for Dillon. He started to pick his head up while on his tummy. Since then he has been trying very hard to turn his head completely. He can do it, but still struggles with it. It will come. He also got his first real bath. Daddy and I washed him in our kitchen sink. All was going very well until Daddy went to turn him so we could wash his back. Daddy had it all under control but I freaked out when he had Dillon in the air trying to put in on his tummy on the bath bed. But all in all it went very smooth. After his bath his Daddy trimed the hair around his ears so he would look more respectable. :-)
Dillon has had one trip to Walmart so far. Grandpa pushed him all around while he looked at everything. Dillon slept almost the entire day after the trip! We are getting ready to go to his first Nuerology check up. I am taking my camera of him lifting his head to show the doctor becuase you KNOW he won't do it when he is in front of the Doc!
So far life as a mom to a special needs boy isn't so bad. I have had a lot of help thus far so this next week will be a little harder, but he is so wonderful and such a gift from God that we WILL make this work. Right now I am feeling very confident that God will help me to be able to help Dillon and tha God will help Dillon to keep making progress. However, I know I am on a roller coaster becuase I do not control my thoughts and emotions like I can/should. Some days I feel like, if I could, I would go back and not get pregnant at all - for my sake and his. I am not mad at God I just am not sure I can handle this and I don't want my little boy to sturggle his whole life. Then when I have enough sleep and nutrition and prayer and Bible time I come to my senses and know that I wouldn't give him back for the world! He is my very special gift from God, God knew just what He was doing when I got pregnant. I read a story about Corrie Ten Boom (this is in my words remembering what i read) that she told her dad at a young age that she didn't think she was strong enough to die for Chirst if the time ever came. Her dad asked her, when do i give you money for the train ride - three weeks ahead of time? She answered, no you don't give it to me until I need it. Our Heavenly Father is just like too. He will give us the strength right when we need it. He has already proven this by giving me the strength to sit by Dillon for 5 weeks in the hospital and to get through everything that ha happened to him so far. All I know is that God knows what He is doing and that no matter what Dillon's future may be - I love the little boy God has placed in your lives.

Friday, July 21, 2006

July 21, 2006

I decided I should start a blog, since it seems to be "the thing to do" recently. Actually, I thought it would be the easiest way to keep people informed about my little Dillon and his health updates. Right now I am sitting in the hospital where we have been since 12 hours after his birth. We were supposed to go home today, but Dillon was having some complications (minor) so we couldn't. They tell us we will be able to go home tomorrow, I don't know if I should believe that or not. It was very hard today when they waited until 3 pm to tell us that we weren't going home. We had most of our stuff packed and ready to go...yet here we sit. Right now I am pretty down and not seeing too many silver linings, or more realistically God's plan in all of this.