I was sitting on the porch holding Dillon and thinking about these things:
How would we know His strength - unless He shows us our weaknesses.
How would we know His love - unless He picked us up when we fall.
How would we know His peace - unless we have trials for Him to bring us through.
How would we know His perfection - unless He showed us our sins.
How would we know His power - unless we had something for Him to "fix".
How would we know His faithfulness - unless He carries us all the way through.
How would we know His forgiveness - unless we have a reason to ask for it.
God will show Himself true and faithful, can we say the same? God has entrusted a dear sweet little guy to my husband and I - will we be found true and faithful in raising our son for the Lord?
Okay, in case any one reads this and doesn't know about Dillon I will try to fill you in and keep it kinda short. My pregnancy with Dillon (although we didn't know he was a boy yet) was the textbook perfect pregnancy. I never had morning sickness, never had mood swings (well no more than normal! :-D ), I never had cravings, I only gained 25 pounds, I was active and loved being pregnant. My husband and I don't have insurance so we had to pay for everything out of pocket. We went to a midwife who many ladies in our church see. She was very nice and really cares about the babies. The cost for her was $2,300. The cost for the hospital (which was a nightmare in and of itself since people do not inform you of all the stipulations for the special midwife cost of $1,838). Okay, this is really hard because we have debt, but we knew God would provide. We did not have an ultrasound because everything was going great. I worked (at Sherwin-Williams) until 2pm June 16, 2006. At 3 pm my contractions started at 7 minutes apart. I was on the phone with my mom during them so I had someone to talk to. At 4:30 pm she told me to call my husband home from work because the contractions were about 4 minutes apart. By the time my husband got home around 5 they were 3 minutes apart. We waited a little bit to make sure they didn't slow down or stop or anything. We then called the midwife and she said to come to the hospital. We arrived there around 6pm with contractions about 2 minutes apart. I was 7 cm dilated - she broke my water. I was on the monitor for about 20 minutes and then she said I was 10cm. I went into the hot tub (where I was hoping to give birth). After an hour in there she told me to get out because it was time to start pushing but I kept slipping under the water. After about another hour Dillon was born. Josiah told me he was a boy while they had him laying on me. The midwife told him to cut the cord then yelled at him to hurry up. They immediately took him away - he wasn't breathing! I didn't see him again for an hour and a half. During this time I recovered enough that I felt perfectly fine - I would have never of known I just had a baby!! Josiah and I never left his bed side until they had him off the ventilator (which happened at 3 am) At 5am Josiah wanted to go lay down. I left to go sleep at 5:30am. At 6:30 they woke us up saying he had a seizure they were transferring him to St. Christopher's in Philly!!! We spent the next 36 days there as they ran EEGs, MRIs, CAT scan, spinal tapp, tons of blood work, put an IV directly into his chest, placed a G-tube in him (feeding tube because he can't swallow), did physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, etc. The answers we got are : 1. We have NO idea why he wasn't breathing - there was nothing to indicate any problems. 2. He may still develop CP or other muscle issues (tightness to the point of not moving). 3. He does have brain damage - mostly in the motor skills area 4. He may never be mentally above a 2 year old. 5. He may never be able to swallow and be on a feeding tube and suction machine for life. and lastly 6. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN IT IS ALL UP TO HIM. Well no doctors, that is where you are wrong - it is all up to God and for HIS answers on what is going to happen with Dillon - we wait. But God has already done so much with him. Dillon is breathing on his own (he was intubated 5 different times), he is at home, his seizures have stopped (he is on medication), he still doesn't cry but is making little noises occasionally, he scoots across the floor, he can lift his head and turn it, he is able to hit at my hand when I suction him (shows he doesn't like it and is able to move his hands to the source (motor skills)), he is starting to try to "stand" on my lap when I hold him. He is a blessing from God - a blessing that would like me to feed him now! :-D Hope that isn't too long that it is boring but that is the short version!