July 28, 2006

Well Dillon came home on Saturday July 22, 2006! I couldn't be more happy. This week has been an interesting one. My parents came out to visit the night before we came home. They were such a blessing to me while they were here. My dad took care of warming Dillon's milk and getting the feeding tube ready for all of his meals and then cleaned it all after wards. He also cooked (or heated meals that were given) and did all the dishes. They bought Dillon music CDs to stimulate his mind a rattle for his little hand and many wipes and baby wash. They also bought Josiah and I ice cream from Rita's...twice! They wanted to do as much as they can while they were here since they had to leave so soon (they left today). My mom played with Dillon and stayed by his side during his tummy time to encourage him. Thank you for coming and for your love for the three of us!
Well Sunday was his first time in church. We went in late and left early so that he wasn't near a lot of people at once. We will continue this for at least another week or so. Sunday night during the time when a men's quartet from our church sang, Dillon made a little noise. It was the first time I have heard him make noise that wasn't apart of a cough. Then Monday was another big day for Dillon. He started to pick his head up while on his tummy. Since then he has been trying very hard to turn his head completely. He can do it, but still struggles with it. It will come. He also got his first real bath. Daddy and I washed him in our kitchen sink. All was going very well until Daddy went to turn him so we could wash his back. Daddy had it all under control but I freaked out when he had Dillon in the air trying to put in on his tummy on the bath bed. But all in all it went very smooth. After his bath his Daddy trimed the hair around his ears so he would look more respectable. :-)
Dillon has had one trip to Walmart so far. Grandpa pushed him all around while he looked at everything. Dillon slept almost the entire day after the trip! We are getting ready to go to his first Nuerology check up. I am taking my camera of him lifting his head to show the doctor becuase you KNOW he won't do it when he is in front of the Doc!
So far life as a mom to a special needs boy isn't so bad. I have had a lot of help thus far so this next week will be a little harder, but he is so wonderful and such a gift from God that we WILL make this work. Right now I am feeling very confident that God will help me to be able to help Dillon and tha God will help Dillon to keep making progress. However, I know I am on a roller coaster becuase I do not control my thoughts and emotions like I can/should. Some days I feel like, if I could, I would go back and not get pregnant at all - for my sake and his. I am not mad at God I just am not sure I can handle this and I don't want my little boy to sturggle his whole life. Then when I have enough sleep and nutrition and prayer and Bible time I come to my senses and know that I wouldn't give him back for the world! He is my very special gift from God, God knew just what He was doing when I got pregnant. I read a story about Corrie Ten Boom (this is in my words remembering what i read) that she told her dad at a young age that she didn't think she was strong enough to die for Chirst if the time ever came. Her dad asked her, when do i give you money for the train ride - three weeks ahead of time? She answered, no you don't give it to me until I need it. Our Heavenly Father is just like too. He will give us the strength right when we need it. He has already proven this by giving me the strength to sit by Dillon for 5 weeks in the hospital and to get through everything that ha happened to him so far. All I know is that God knows what He is doing and that no matter what Dillon's future may be - I love the little boy God has placed in your lives.